The Airheads White Mystery Flavor is just the leftover flavorings that couldn't make a full batch.

 Your name doesn't matter. I won't know you long, and that's fine. Previously, I would have acquiesced to your hounding, but now I watch your bland texts with mild amusement, waiting for the right time to block you and move on. 

 A midnight text from college -- "Lew, I had to buy friends!" -- makes me text your mom the next morning, reminiscing about your awkward freshman year in high school. I am so overjoyed that you got out of this damn bubble. 

     We aren't allowed to teach whatever we want, like many people think. We have state standards and district standards and colleagues who we are supposed to collaborate with. Although many of these guidelines are wide and encompassing, others are oddly specific and dictate that we teach works by a particular author. The Ohio Reading standards are in love with Shakespeare. He needs to be taught at least twice in a four-year span: once in either 9th or 10th and once in either 11th or 12th. But since 11th is American Literature, he doesn't really fit in.       Anyway, with being given 9th grade for the last eleven years, I've had to learn how to make Shakespeare less... archaic. My 9th graders are not the honors-in-English type. They're more the "Connor if you sit down for the first 20 minutes of class, I will allow you to take a lap and then come back for the other 20" ("take a lap", in this case, just means to walk around the English wing once and c...